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Hello 911? Do you think i`m pretty?
“I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullshit”.
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
Is there another word for synonym?
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that`s why I weigh myself in the mornings.
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
You have no idea how funny I am to me.
I think a clear conscience is really just memory loss.