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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
I like it like that
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
Let`s all have a moment of silence for people who can`t have a moment of silence because they have kids.
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid people
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
It`s acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I`m asking for a friend...
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.