Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
Not to brag, but I`m pretty good in bed. I don`t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
pudding... thats always a funny word
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
How can I go to sleep when this movie I’ve seen 70 times just started?
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line.... *as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it`s considered responsible. But if you do that with your gf, it`s called "cheating."
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.