Daily Silly Status

I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.

You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.

I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.

Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".

If you can read this please let me know – because it means I blocked the wrong person.

I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.

I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.

Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.

I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.

How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk a$$.

Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.

I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.

You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )