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I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
If you`re going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.