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Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
I used to think i was good at multi-tasking. Turns out its just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.