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Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
I know I don`t look like it but I`m really good looking!
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.