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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
have you ever tried waking up in the morning? its horrible, the sun`s the wrong place and your head is so damn heavy.
Only at McDonald`s do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and actually mean "weight" :P
Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.