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If Plan A doesnβt work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
My most frequent walk of shame is from one bathroom to the other with the plunger
Proposing to a woman isnβt like choosing a life-long business partner. Itβs more like hiring your own boss.
Itβs interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
If the river were beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up..
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
My 5 year plan includes purchasing a Slurpee machine.