Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
When I bang my toe against something, it’s like I pressed a button that plays every curse word I know.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
Beer is good, but beers are better.
I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today.......i felt like that bitch was seeing someone else.
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
I gave up on humanity when I picked up this girl`s phone and saw that my number was saved as Free Food.
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.