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I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
The next person I hear say “I love fall” is getting choked out with a scarf soaked in pumpkin spice latte.
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.
If you cut your child`s sandwich into squares instead of triangles, you suck at parenting...