Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult`s table will become the kid`s table.
You can`t fix stupid but you can divorce it
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
Iām a pervert, but in a romantic way.
Ya .... That Supermoon was OK ..... But I was quite disappointed when I realized it didn`t even have a cape.
Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Me, on phone to credit card company: What if you just break my kneecaps and we call it even?