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Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
You know you are getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
People are like dogs: There`s always someone who loves you for you and there`s someone who just peed in an inappropriate place.
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll