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People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough.
I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I`m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
You know it’s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with… “Are you sitting down?”
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up... In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
Bacon...need I say more
Man: "You look nice today..." Woman: "Was I ugly yesterday?"
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.