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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
If you forget your hook-up’s name, just take them to Starbuck’s in the morning.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
This is not the status message you are looking for .... Move along
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.
Something about summertime brings out the beer guzzling Homer Simpson in me.