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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, my pillow was gone...
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
I`d feel totally comfortable dating a zombie because I`d know she loved me for my brains and not just my body.
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
If Kanye didn`t sing "Gold Digger" while Kim walked down the aisle, I`m not interested in hearing anything about their wedding.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.