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Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
lol I rotfl
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
The hardest part about being humble is not telling people how much better I am than they are.
My cats always look at me like I should have planned something for us to do.
I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn`t. So I gave it mouth to mouth.
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.