Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I judge how safe an area is by the number of lit letters on the Waffle House sign.
I helped my girlfriend with the dinner last night. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
The "best part of waking up" doesn`t even make sense.
Ladies, don`t say that men never listen... We can tell you every word of what was said during an NFL pregame or in-game broadcast.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
Apparently β€œfinders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.