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I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
EVERY Friday is good in my book!
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
Over half the contacts in my phone are named “Do Not Answer”
If your parachute doesn`t deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Just realized the irony of putting Bacon on my VeggieBurger..........
Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.