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I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
I`m so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign And before that ... we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that sh!t.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
he who laughs last thinks slow
Why is it when you have a day off you seem to bounce out off bed at 6am, but the days you go to work, it takes a forklift and 2 sticks of dynamite to separate me from my pillow??
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
Sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.` ... what, am I supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?
Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again.
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.