Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
Good for you, people that do things.
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.