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If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
When in doubt, take a nap.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
I`ve written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It`s very saucy. :D
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
Iām not in denial, Iām just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....