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Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
Ever have to poop and your abdominals start to relax just as you near the toilet, and then you notice that `Out of Order` sign or the empty toilet paper dispenser?
Does anyone know when is the cut-off date to stop wishing someone Happy New Years?
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
The really cool thing about being a husband is having your mistakes constantly pointed out.
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.