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My first career was working as a Ventriloquist on a Radio Program, I got let go when people kept calling in to say my lips were moving.........
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
I saw a fat lady with a "M.O.B." tattoo on her arm. I asked "money over B*tches?" She said "No, McDonalds over Burger King.
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Carfax but for people
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.