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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, youΒ΄re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
My nose is "running", that`s all the exercise I can handle for one day.......
Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus.
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. IΒ΄m awesome..
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.