Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
If you`re going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you`re just an ass.
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
I`ve got good news and bad news. The good news is this status is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing.
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
I wish I had the kind of life my spam folder thinks I have!
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.