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Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the arc wasn`t leaving until 5. Sincerely, unicorns.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I got up… goodnight!
Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
Shout out to weathermen telling us the barometric pressure like we know what the hell to do with that information.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.