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No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1?” So I did. I don’t remember much afterwards.
Dude, next time you wanna wave at me, please use more than one finger.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
I say if you can`t come up with anything nice to say then post it on Facebook.
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she’s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.