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There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
I swear this is the last time I watch Groundhog Day
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
My downstairs neighbor thinks I`m a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that`s what she wrote in her diary.
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
Sometimes I have to tell myself, "It`s not worth the jail time!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.