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My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
It’s what people don’t know about each other that makes them such good friends.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
When a newscaster says; "I am live at the scene with a person who witnessed the accident," what they really mean is; "Check out this douchetard we found at the scene of this crash."