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Just remember the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your talent
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn`t be called nachos.
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not poop your pants.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak