Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
New day, same old bullsh!t
I hope these bad jokes distract you from the fact you`re getting screwed. - Car insurance commercials
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
My sleep number is 100 proof.
When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn`t have toilet paper with aloe.
When I was a teenager, a "selfie" meant something totally different than it does today.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
Hibernation should be a human thing too.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.