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The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
When someone tells you they are getting a divorce, a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told, twice now.
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn`t used yet.
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
I don`t make enough money to go on vacation so I`m just going to get drunk this weekend until I don`t know where I am.
Defies physics: I eat half a pound of food, `purge` 1 pound of it, and then gain five pounds because of it-- WTF?
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you