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Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
I don’t want to go to work. There are people there.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
I just found my Christmas Spirit.... It`s been in aisle 6 at this liquor store the whole time!
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"
I’m going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.