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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
So many rules; so little time to break them.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
Your duty as a friend is to LIKE my Facebook posts even if they suck.
Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
It`s all rainbows and sunshine until he breaks your heart, then it`s voodoo dolls and arson reports.