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I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
Women have closets full of `I have nothing to wear.`
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
You`ve got to love yourself ... Just not in public places
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
I think stupid people were put on this earth to test my anger management skills.