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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.