Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
If they really want to increase breast awareness, why not try a National Motorboat Day?
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
Cake and pie can’t compete. If you put candles in a cake it’s birthday cake. Put candles in a pie and someone’s drunk in the kitchen.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
Just think how cold and snowy it would be WITHOUT global warming!
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.
I need a bank to do two things for me: give me a loan and leave me alone