Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
Wonder if Jesus gets screwed out of birthday presents just because his birthday is so close to Santas?
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
I dont understand these pregnancy test things, so I took another one just to be sure. Just as I thought, its negitive, we`re not pregnant! Now how am I going to tell my wife she is just fat.
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
All I want is to see you smile...that and maybe a pizza.
The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.