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Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
Plug your headphones into a banana. Everyone will leave you alone twice as much.
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
I don`t get nearly enough credit for managing not to be a violent psychopath
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool