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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
If you look in the mirror and say "Taylor Swift" three times, she magically appears then breaks up with you. What do u know next? You`re a song!
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
I don`t believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
Stole a cart from this woman at Walmart today. I like to think of it as playing grand theft auto suburbs edition.
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
Whenever you feel nobody cares or loves you. You should ask yourself...Am I TOO sexy?
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.