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If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
Only at McDonald`s do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and actually mean "weight" :P
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married