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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!!!!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
Lol at birds that walk places.
Her (from the living room): What time is it out there? Me (in the kitchen): Same time as it is in there.
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie is romantic but do it on a bus and the judge doesn`t agree.
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)