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Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherf*cker a reason.
Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
I`m sorry but, I could not hear you over the sound of my internal hope that you would shut the f*ck up.
The hay in baby Jesus`s manger came from Christian Bales.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her.
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.