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Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?