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Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
What if I am sexy and I don`t know it?
Yo! My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."