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If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person’s shoe laces together. It’s not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
Don`t be afraid of a few extra pounds, fat people are much harder to kidnap.
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".