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Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
5 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
I`m glad the guy who came up with "No means no" didn`t do the whole dictionary
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.