Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
Now that I`ve maxed out my 401k for the year, I`ll get a tattoo, said no one ever.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
Before I got married I didn`t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
I used to dream about becoming an astronaut. Now I just dream that there`s still time before the alarm goes off.
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Darn right I’m good in bed. ...I can sleep for days.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping