Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wouldn`t say I`m an alcoholic. I`d slur it.
When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
SNAUGHLING: Laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.