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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
I hate when I’m about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Relationship status: Don`t tell me to calm down! You called a stormtrooper a robot!
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
"Why?" - Socrates and four year-olds
Dude, next time you wanna wave at me, please use more than one finger.
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
i only drink on days that end with y
If it weren`t for marriage,,, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.