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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won`t go outside at all.
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
Really offended that these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently like I don`t treat every burrito with the utmost respect
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she’s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.