Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I kind of like it getting dark so early because it gives me a great excuse to just stay inside and watch TV.
Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on.
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
If the shampoo and conditioner in her shower are not the same brand GET THE F*CK OUT, SHE`S A MAN!
Found out today you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at the waffle house... just trying to help.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
I have a fear of elevators, but I have an even greater fear of exercise.
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
American Sniper proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.