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The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
My friend works at a rubber dog poop factory. He`ll never get rich, but he makes doo.
My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I`m sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
Saying "think outside the box" is a pretty inside the box suggestion.
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman.