Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
Fighting is bad. Breaking up a fight between a douchebag and the bar owner is good. Thank God I`m a ninja.
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
A wise man, will often say nothing
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
You had me at, "we`ll make it look like an accident."
My wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can`t see the mailbox when she`s backing up?
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
My chemistry teacher asked us what the heaviest metal was today. Apparently "Megadeath" was the wrong answer.