Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
I flunked anger management class.
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
A hard thing about business is minding your own
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Beauty is only a light switch away...
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted