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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
My girlfriend says I shouldn`t plan things so far in advance. Well, she`s not my girlfriend yet.
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
I went for a 6 mile run tonight. The police are getting in much better shape these days.
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.