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I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
Guns don`t kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.
Tequila. For those nights you just want to pretend she`s hot.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
When people ask me if I’m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they’re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
You`re the kind of friend I text when I`m pooping and need something to do.
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.