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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
Somebody needs to invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won`t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that`s what`s been missing.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.