Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
I`m like a kid in a candy store. I can`t afford anything.
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
Its national shave your... Well, tomorrow is valentine`s day. Just an FYI.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat`s leg.
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99