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For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
You`d think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
I wish bedtime was all the time.
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.