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"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
I totally tricked this woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was put a ring on her finger and live with her for the rest of my life.
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?