Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
You know what would make this Vodka & cranberry better? The Bahamas.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.