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Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
Ideal roommate: Someone not smart enough to know they are paying 80% of the rent.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
When life gives you lemons... all you need is tequila (and salt).
Yes, it`s a bad time. Let me call you back when I`m not feeling so honest.
They don`t say "Get down Mr. President" anymore. Now they just shout, "Donald Duck!"
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
I`ve never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
Admit it: you have all tried to rap in the shower..