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We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks.
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
I have some serious self-esteem issues. The last time I posted a selfie I first cropped myself out of it.
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.