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Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
If you think I wrote this status update in the nude, you`re wrong. I`m wearing a sombrero and a candy necklace.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
My predictive text dictionary doesn’t have “tsunami”, so if you ever get a text from me that says “trumang” start running.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
You never know what you have until you clean your room.
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?