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A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
What do you mean being awesome for another year isn`t a resolution?
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offendedβ¦I will get to you shortly.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.