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"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
I`ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall (he also had a pretty good summer too).
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
RIP to my hair dryer. It was the only thing to blow me for the last 10 years and never complain.