Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I didn`t have a dollar.
I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
Odd how all the `intelligent life finding instruments` are pointed away from earth.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.
Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone else’s house, and seeing the water rise…
You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.