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I`ll never have a kid as cool as the one my parents did…
I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
I don`t understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there`s so heavy.
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
I kinda dig you, want to hang out and stuff until we hate each other?
lord, we beg you for tupac, and in return you can have justin bieber
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips.
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.