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Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
really vry funny
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing canned goods at her
Bacon...need I say more
Just a word of advice for all you single guys having a hard time out there, Forget the clubs, forget the churches, forget the online dating sites, as the best places to meet single women are the freezer section and down the cat food isle.....
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
The only man worth waiting for is the delivery guy
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.